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NOTE: This blog post deals with “feminine health issues.” If you’re at all squeamish or easily offended, stop reading here. Stop. reading.
My body has chosen an unusual way to revolt as it pauses in the doorway of middle age. It turns on itself.
For the last seven months, on exactly Day Three of my cycle, my body has a temper tantrum. First, I develop a painful knot in my chest through to my back, which feels as though I swallowed a golf ball. A few hours later, it dissipates but then my lips swell up (the closest I’ll ever get to looking like Angelina Jolie) and my fingers puff up into swollen, itchy lobster claws. I’ve discovered I can fend off most of the swelling if I start popping Benadryl the minute I feel the golf ball in my chest, but I’m still disturbed by this recent turn of events. I’ve Googled and Yahoo’d and researched this problem till my eyes cross, with no results.
A couple of months ago, I received a card in the mail for an ObGyn office. It was a decent piece of marketing, completely focused on “the ultimate wellness of women.” In this case, the pink on the card didn’t bother me – this was caring, dedicated group of female gynecologists, it said, devoted to the best ObGyn care you could ask for.
This is it, I thought. It’s time for my yearly exam, and I can talk to one of the caring, devoted doctors about this allergy problem. Surely she’ll know something and/or take the time to find out.
The day of my appointment, I was armed with my log of allergic reactions and list of everything I’ve done to alleviate them – changed feminine products, changed back. No new vitamins, supplements or foods. No new medications, etc.
It was the fastest, brusquest and coldest exam I’ve ever had. Cold receptionist, cold doctor and freezing exam room. The doctor, a 30-something blonde bombshell dressed like a fashionista charged into the room going about 70 mph, and never slowed down. She conducted the exam like the place was on fire and took samples for the usual tests in a record-shattering 3 minutes. The gloves came off with a snap and the garbage can lid clanked shut.
“Looks good. We’ll let you know about the test results.”
I slowed her down for a second and as she scribbled on my file, I described my dilemma.
“Never heard of it,” she said without looking up.
“Are you sure? How do you think this might be related to my hormones?” I leaned over to show her my log, etc.
“Can’t possibly be related to hormones.”
“But it happens on Day Three of my cycle, every month.”
“Nothing I can do about it. You’ll need to see an allergist.”
“Um… do you have someone you could recommend?”
“No. Call your insurance company. Nice to see you – have a good day.”
And she was gone on Manolo tippy-toes, a flash of charcoal gray out the door.
I didn’t know who to be more ticked off with – this sham of a medical office or myself for getting suckered into this marketing to women ploy. They had their advertising down pat, but the world inside their door was the poorest example of marketing I’ve ever experienced.
As I paid my bill, the sign at the receptionist’s desk said it all:
“We are a very busy office. If you do not hear from us about your test results within two weeks, call us.”
So much for caring. So much for dedication. And so much for medical help. This is one woman who will never go back there (and will tell all her friends, including you, about it).
I still don’t have an answer to my medical mystery, but I’ll always have a pink receipt and this story to remind me that even I, the “expert blogger” can be fooled by false marketing to women campaigns.
[Pink Heart print by Sarah Chilton]
Michele Miller is a writer, speaker, and consultant on ways to capture the heart of the female customer. The co-author of The Soccer Mom Myth, she consults with businesses of all sizes across North America
I hope you will also send a copy of your post to this office and perhaps some busy person will stop and read it. And a cc to your local newspaper’s ltr to the editor to warn other women.
The golf ball thing: check acid reflux; I don’t know about the fingers swelling.
Good luck!
I hate that. When companies use marketing that doesn’t reflect who they are, it’s the worst.
Well, as we all know, marketing is often B.S. And you were on the receiving end of some serious B.S., unfortunately. You could look at your experience as a good cautionary tale to tell your clients and audiences. Consumers don’t like to be fooled! And on a personal note, that totally sucked how they treated you. I hope you can find a better OBGYN. They’re out there!
Susan @ Working Moms Against Guilt
http://www.WorkingMomsAgainstGuilt.com
And this from the “caring” profession. Reminds me of a problem I had years ago. I called for an appointment (by referral) re a lump. I was brusquely told the first opening they had was in…wait for it…six months. Only after I asked for the receptionist name to use in the malpractice suit my next-of-kin would be filing – did I get the appointment.
(Oh and ditto re the acid reflux.)
I hope you raise awareness around the community about this particular office.
I’m subscribed to your blog and enjoying your writing immensely. Your article about the OB GYN office — too big to care about the women they serve — so resonated with me.
I was at a major department store the other day and over heard this conversation:
Customer at service desk: “…but I have talked to everyone in your company and I really need some assistance. Can’t you please listen for a minute and give me a hand?”
Woman behind counter: “Honey, I’m Customer Service. There’s not a thing I can do for you.”
Oh well.
Maryan
Hi,
The golfball-like feeling and the subsequent swellings are some not so common symptoms of
Pre-Menstrual Syndrome.
It often helps to drink lukewarm water in regular bouts (usually starting on an empty
stomach early in the morning before you go for your morning ritual) along a target of
between 1.5 – 2.2 litres every day, an increased intake of any one wholegrain product,
usually oatmeal works (it or any other complex carbohydrate, if taken a day or 7-8 hours
prior to onset of menstruation, will also diminish any menstrual pain that you experience,
if at all)…..and please stay off any spices, margarine and high protein (including
seafood) during these days.
If Benadryl works, I cannot comment…that’s for your doctor (read informed gynaecologist)
to judge upon ….am just an orthopedic physical therapist.
Also, if, during these days, you could engage in a lukewarm shower (instead of an outright
hot or cold one) it will also help you with feeling better overall and sleeping better.
Please post as to how this works out……prior subjects whom I advised thus have
benefitted. Here’s hoping it works out for you too……..:-D
Thanks for the read.
Sujoy
Hi,
The golfball-like feeling and the subsequent swellings are some not so common symptoms of
Pre-Menstrual Syndrome.
It often helps to drink lukewarm water in regular bouts (usually starting on an empty
stomach early in the morning before you go for your morning ritual) along a target of
between 1.5 – 2.2 litres every day, an increased intake of any one wholegrain product,
usually oatmeal works (it or any other complex carbohydrate, if taken a day or 7-8 hours
prior to onset of menstruation, will also diminish any menstrual pain that you experience,
if at all)…..and please stay off any spices, margarine and high protein (including
seafood) during these days.
If Benadryl works, I cannot comment…that’s for your doctor (read informed gynaecologist)
to judge upon ….am just an orthopedic physical therapist.
Also, if, during these days, you could engage in a lukewarm shower (instead of an outright
hot or cold one) it will also help you with feeling better overall and sleeping better.
Please post as to how this works out……prior subjects whom I advised thus have
benefitted. Here’s hoping it works out for you too……..:-D
Thanks for the read.
Sujoy
Conversely, my doc, Dr. Susan Debin, uses NO advertising and you have to wait 3 months for an apppointment. I swear every woman in Orange County goes to her office because of her personal and genuine attention. Her staff is just like her as well. Don’t look for a website, she doesn’t have that, either. She’s too busy providing excellent services.
Hilarious !
I am interested to know though, if anyone from the OB GYN office got back to you after noticing a surge of hits from this page.
Hi,
I am a male OB/GYN in Henderson, NV. I am so sorry to hear about your ordeal with the previous female OB/GYN group that you visited. I hear this similiar complaint from patients of mine that previously saw female doctors. I am not saying that every female doc is like that but there must be quite a few. As male OB/GYNs, we are almost extinct because of this type of marketing( ex. Woman to woman, Women caring for women). I take pride in the fact that every new patient gets a minimun 30 minute visit with me. It is so important to establish a long lasting relationship. My staff and I take pride in offering you a great experience when you come to our office. We are a big happy family @ Henderson OB/GYN and our patients are made to feel a part of that also. I always tell my family and friends, don’t choose an OB/GYN only because they are females and you think they will understand better, but choose great, compassionate, and carings physicians like myself who will take the necessary time to alleviate your concerns and do their damn best to make you feel better. As for yoour swelling, it may just be fluid retention. You may want to decrease salt intake and elevate your hands from time to time. Also follow up with your primary care doc to check for autoimmune diseases as a cause.
Hi,
Dr. Orlandis Wells again. Just wanted to post my info: Henderson OB/GYN
98 E. Lake Mead Pkwy, Ste 307
Henderson, NV 89012
(702) 568-6108
P.S. The bulk(95%) of our very successful practice is from patient referrals.