In the days of vaudeville, there was a popular Abbott & Costello-type comedy routine called “Niagara Falls.” It involved a man who, recounting a rejection from his fiancee, would go into a hypnotic state each time he heard the words “Niagara Falls.” He would turn slowly, rubber prop in hand, and beat the living daylights out of his poor partner, who unwittingly kept repeating the phrase.

For me, the term “networking” is my “Niagara Falls.” Whenever I’m invited to a “networking event,” a funny thing happens. First, the dread of subjecting myself to the process causes my eyes to glaze over, rendering me nearly comatose. Then, I blow a fuse at the thought of having to work my way across a crowded room without the reward of Rossano Brazzi** waiting for me on the other side.

Supporters of these get-togethers will tell you, “It’s a great way to meet people. It’s very productive – the only way to get new business!” Then why would so many women prefer having their teeth drilled to attending one? To many women, these gatherings are artificial and inauthentic – nothing more than fast-talk, glad-handing, and a blizzard of business cards. The underlying message usually is “I want to get your business” rather than “I’d like to get to know you.”

If you’re like me, this three-ring competition for contacts goes against your nature. Why? Because a woman doesn’t “network”… she seeks out and builds relationships.

For the most part, women are nurturers, which means that people are more than just contacts, customers and employees. Genuine interest in getting to know someone – male or female – goes beyond basic curiosity, and it’s not about gossip. It’s part of our hard-wiring.

Stay tuned for Part II…

**Obscure Reference Note: I refuse to explain who this “stranger” is – go to the video store, rent Rodgers & Hammerstein’s musical South Pacific, and broaden your horizons.